Valentine’s Day

Ahh…Valentine’s Day. One of those holidays that seem made up by the candy companies, but isn’t.

The holiday’s origin, like so many we celebrate, dates way back. For this holiday, we’d have to time travel to 496 AD to see its inauguration. Saint Valentine’s Day began as a feast day celebrating, well you can probably figure that out. The 14th and 15th centuries were particularly kind to the feast day’s popularity as the idea of courtly love was all the rage. But it was nowhere near the day it is today.

We have the late 18th and 19th century to thank for Saint Valentine’s Day catching fire in the hearts of the masses. Entrepreneurs in England began producing small cards to be exchanged on the day and love poetry for dummy books. This was a popular trend, albeit an expensive one. St. Valentine’s Day might have fizzled out if the postage stamp hadn’t waltzed onto the scene.

We have Esther Howland of Worcester, Mass. to thank for igniting the trend across the pond. She modeled her cards after the English version her father had received from a business associate. Just as in England, Valentines caught the interest of the American population.

But this holiday isn’t just about cards? The candy companies had to have gotten into the game somewhere along the way? They certainly did. Known today for their clucking rabbit and gooey eggs, Cadbury threw their hat into the Valentine’s Day ring in 1868 by introducing their Fancy boxes of chocolate. Bet you can’t guess what shape the box was…wait, yes, you can.

Anyone wanting to study how far evolution can go need only look as far as this holiday. Today, we are inundated with ads to buy your loved one diamond earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. The price for a dozen long-stemmed red roses jump two, sometimes three, times their regular price for an entire week. Grocery stores dedicate whole isles to candy, stuffed animals, and cards. Restaurant attendance booms on February 14th. Frederick’s of Hollywood, Victoria’s Secret, and like lingerie stores wheel out their most lacy and revealing items.

My feelings on the holiday are almost certainly colored by my experiences. Hopefully, you hear me out and don’t label me a Debbie Downer or a Negative Nancy.

In high school, we had an annual flower sale where we could buy carnations and have them sent to the person of our choosing. Yes, it was a fundraiser, but realistically it was a show of how popular you were. I was one of those girls who partnered with a friend to send each other flowers with a mysterious note attached so that we would not be walking empty-handed through the halls that day. Not a way to endear a person to a holiday, that’s for sure.

Removed almost twenty years from high school, I am not still holding on to the awkwardness of those days. But, I’m not exactly Valentine’s Day’s biggest fan either. My closet, with all of the pinks and purples, would make you think otherwise. I can’t argue that it has the best color scheme of all the holidays. But its heavy emphasis on pink doesn’t change my mind.

Valentine’s Day is the least romantic day of the year.

This is an unpopular opinion, I know. When I was single and rolled out this opinion into conversations, it was dismissed with the assurance I would feel different when I found a boyfriend. Not true. I have held this belief throughout all of my relationships into the current one.

How romantic can a boilerplate really be? Red roses, check. Chocolate, check. Card with mass-produced sentiment, check. Unwanted stuffed animal upgrade available. Extra bonus points for any gift shown on jewelry store ads. No forethought or emotion required.

Not to mention, it’s exceptionally one-sided in cis relationships. Women need not make any reciprocal displays of affection. Well ok. Lingerie. That opens up the holiday and its perception of male interests to even worse criticism.

This means we have greed exchanged for sex. Ok. I went plaid there. Maybe not all that. But that’s the dynamic the advertising and target gifts are suggesting.

I wouldn’t have such a problem with this holiday if it allowed creativity. But it doesn’t seem.

Once a boyfriend bought me tickets to the Celtics and took me out for a couple of slices of greasy pizza and a beer beforehand. Not for Valentine’s Day, but on the actual day. To stress the example, this was quite a perceptive gesture, and entirely out of character, making for a thoroughly enjoyable night.

But, when recounting the events to coworkers, I got a lot of “Ohs.” Not the genuinely surprised kind. The “That’s the best he could do?” and “Where were the roses?” kind.

So if on February 14th, the only acceptable forms of love expressed are roses, chocolate, and lace, I’ll pass and celebrate on June 29th. Or November 8th. Any other day really. Because organic and shared expression can’t be beaten in my book.

Grumble, it’s not all that bad. I can hear you from here. And, you’re probably right. Who cares what the TV says, or coworkers? I don’t in any real way when it comes to stuff like this. I’m not exactly discussing huge affairs of state.

I can’t help but think the advertising on this holiday could be better. Promoting reciprocation. Highlighting all kinds of love, not just the romantic kind. Switching up the keystone gifts if there has to be some kind of gift at all. Eh, maybe that’s asking too much. I doubt there are going to be many corporate takers on being less focused on consumerism.

So until those switches start to happen, if anyone needs me, I’ll be sifting through the discounted chocolates at the store.

Till next time, Nerd Girls.