Santa Monica’s Wit-ty Belgian

I sat down to write this week, and I was actually at a loss for once. I had my beer notes all ready to go, that is never the problem. But actually writing about my life, I feel blah. The events of the last two weeks have created a major socio-economic push that this country sorely needs. Yet, we are nowhere close to anything resembling equality, fairness, or even a modicum of safety for our vulnerable populations.

The LAPD has seen their budget and overtime compensation slashed as a result of the protests, so at least that’s something. Additionally, calls for “defund the police,” which is a terrible name for a great idea, are receiving more traction. Police should not be the ones we call for substance abuse, or mental health issues, I mean come one these people have little to no training in that area.

However, I am happy it is June Gloom time in Los Angeles.
June Gloom is a Southern California term for a weather pattern that results in cloudy, overcast skies with cool temperatures during the late spring and early summer. A perfect combination of a marine layer, cold waters, and an atmospheric inversion lead to mid-morning cloudiness I find just delightful. And because I find it fantastic, every other Angelino bitches about the temporary lack of sunshine.

I am not happy about the fireworks going off in my MacArthur Park neighborhood every fucking night, though. Every night just round after round of shitty strobe light fireworks, ffs. Last week there was a fire in an alley across the street from me, and I’m quite sure it was caused by some moron lighting off shitty roman candles. I want rain. I want it to rain for 6 months straight and ruin these people’s fun.

Another thing that made me happy recently – SCOTUS ruled 6 – 3 (which is a really fucking amazing split) that Title VII of the 1964 Civic Rights Act, which prohibits discrimination because of sex, applies to gay and transgender workers. As a shock to none, ferret faced Kavanaugh was amongst the dissenters. Maybe he was too busy boofing with PJ and Squi or whoever the fuck that day to read the case law.

Of course, this brings out the “TERFS” or trans exclusionary radical feminists. Essentially a group of conservatives who give feminism a bad name and think trans women aren’t real women. The mental gymnastics these people go to to be hateful is quite impressive. We all experience so much shit in our lives. But there is always someone around to gleefully invalidate that experience. Losers like that are why I drink (one of the many reasons.)

And now…beer.

This week’s offering, I present Santa Monica Brew Works Beach Brewed Wit. I couldn’t find any information on this brewery, but their website is very Socal, lots of bright colors and shit. Most of you, East Coasters, probably think of Santa Monica as the place with the rollercoaster on the pier.

Well, me too!

That pier was on my list of places to visit this summer, along with the famous Muscle Beach in Venice. Those plans have been put on hold for who knows how long, seeing as coronavirus is still very much a problem. SoCal restaurants and breweries have just received the go-ahead to reopen, albeit on a limited basis. So check back with me in two weeks when everyone is sick again.

I always get nostalgic when I pick up a Belgian wit, Blue Moon was one of the first beers I remember really enjoying. Now, obviously, I have since tasted far better wits than that, but for a commercial starter beer (Blue Moon is made by Coors), it’s pretty good. Wits and hefeweizens are a gateway beer for many people, as they aren’t heavy on the malt or bitterness, plus who the fuck doesn’t enjoy citrus notes in their beer.

I just don’t see how anyone can love bread and not love a good wit. And yes, I am sure that Nerdy will read this and immediately roll her eyes, as she is well aware of my hatred for Belgian beers. Wit’s get a hard pass, though, because they are well-balanced and not overly spiced or cloyingly malty-sweet like tripels or dubbels.

Let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?

BBW has a lovely hazy straw color, a medium golden light reminiscent of a SoCal summer morning. Wits always look so refreshing, just inviting the imbiber in to have a sip and be quenched. The one finger of porous foamy eggwhite head fizzled quickly, but wits aren’t generally known for their rich, creamy heads. Despite the hazy appearance, the carbonation was visible in the glass, but not a crazy amount of bubbling.

This beer smells amazing, by the way. Sometimes you are just looking for something bright and fresh, and BBW delivers. Upon the first whiff, intense notes of yeast and undercooked biscuit – what you would expect with a wit. Continuing wafting now my fellow acolytes, and enjoy notes of candied lemon and orange, with a surprise guest of banana. Banana esters (or fruity aromas formed by the reactions of organic acids and alcohols created during fermentation) are more common in hefeweizens, but I definitely enjoyed them in BBW. I hate bananas, absolutely loathe them, yet not in beer.

Oh, here we go now, time for that ever-important first sip! I’d rate the mouthfeel pretty much in the middle, I think the carbonation exacerbates the thickness a bit. This is on par for wits, something about wheats make for a thicker feeling beer than say an IPA, despite less malt used in the brewing.

Ahh, but how does BBW taste? This is definitely a beer that tastes the way it smells, there are no surprises here. For a wit, surprise should not be the palpable flavor. The notes of yeast and underbaked bread come through first. I always love a good bready taste, particularly since I’ve been baking up many an overnight fermented loaf while home from the office. The yeast was paired with a toasted bit that I immediately recognized as good old Grape Nuts.

I haven’t seen GN on my kitchen table since I was eight years old, living with my grandparents. [Insert another Millenials killed X industry here]. Jokes on you because I don’t even eat cereal. Well, I occasionally do, but only as a snack food because soggy cereal in milk is nasty. I also have quite mature tastes when I do deign to eat cereal: Shredded Wheat, Raisin Bran, and Wheat Chex. Anything crunchy with that wheaty taste, bring it on.

Now other things I love? Why flowers and citrus fruit, of course! My ideal perfume is a mix of sweet gardenia and bright lemon. BBW does not taste like perfume, thank goodness (although I’ve had beers that do), but it does contain some light floral notes. I wish the floral notes were a bit stronger. Fortunately, the brightness of citron and orange flavors shine through and blend together. A quasi orange blossom flavor emerges. The orange was topped off by a bit of bitter resin at the end.

I liked this beer alright, but I kept going back and forth if it was really a wit. Those notes of banana and bread really pushed BBW into borderline hefeweizen territory. BBW wasn’t my favorite, but it was a nice refreshing summer beer, and at 5.3%, you’ll feel refreshed and a bit drunk after a few. Maybe I should learn my lesson and stay away from Belgians going forward.

3 out of 6 Beach Volleyball Nets