Onward!

The Disney/Pixar marketing vehicle was in full press when it came to Onward. The first teaser dropped in May of last year. It seemed like Onward ads were everywhere we turned. And, honestly, the teaser and eventual full trailer kind of turned me off. I thought Pixar had finally lost the ability to release a trailer that didn’t give the whole movie away.

Then COVID hit, and I thought we’d be stuck with the trailer for another six months. But no, that’s not what happened. Disney elected to give Pixar’s first movie in three years a Disney+ release. We really are living in a whole new world.

The number crunchers at Disney must have seen enough of a profit, both the monetary and goodwill variety, to roll out Onward on the small screen. I’m sure this solution was far from ideal. A month of Disney+ is only equal to one ticket at the box office. But, there’s something to be said right now about entertainment and how crucial it is. I can only imagine this as I don’t have kids, but I’d guess there were more than a few households thrilled to see new Disney content.

We were a couple days late to the party, opting to end our Easter Sunday with the new release. Because of the massive advertising, I wasn’t at the edge of my seat for Adam to hit play. I really thought I had seen the best bits of the movie already.

I was wrong. All wrong in my impression of Onward. Pixar hasn’t lost its advertising touch. Well, in that, the studio can cut a trailer that doesn’t give you the entire movie in thirty seconds. They really didn’t need to be in front of every movie. But anyway, Onward.

Ian Lightfoot, voiced by Tom Holland, is arguably the most awkward elf in town. He doesn’t have any friends, he can’t stand up for himself, and all he wants is to know who his Dad was as a person. You’d think an elf would be able to magic himself up a few solutions to his problems.

Nope, there’s no magic to be had. The folks of New Mushroomton have long abandoned the magical arts. That is except for Ian’s big brother Barley, voiced by Chris Pratt, who wants nothing more than for magic to be real.

We meet the Lightfoot brothers on Ian’s sixteenth birthday. If John Hughes taught us anything, it’s that hijinx are meant to happen when you turn sixteen. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happens, even though that’s the last thing practical Ian wants. Even so, the two brothers head onward into the adventure.

Tom Holland and Chris Pratt were joined by Julia Louis-Dreyfus as their mother, Laurel, and Octavia Spencer as The Manticore. Supporting the main cast was Mel Rodriguez, Lena Waithe, Ali Wong, Wilmer Valderrama, Tracey Ulman, John Ratzenberger, of course, and many more.

My doubts about the film melted away about ten minutes into the movie. Maybe even less than that. I’m a sucker for Pixar.

I referenced John Hughes a minute ago because Onward started out very much like Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink. Just add in elves, unicorns, and dragons. OK. Maybe these aren’t that close. But the similarities between the 80s teen movies and the start of Pixar’s latest adventure make it pretty clear this isn’t going to be a typical animated adventure.

In fact, Onward pokes fun at the questing adventures and, in so doing, itself. The map is hidden in a campy medieval-themed restaurant chock full of kids’ birthday parties and bachelorettes. With GPS and highways, Ian wants to take the fastest route to their destination. There’s no need to go on the meandering and winding road. Enter in the perpetual dreamer, Barley. He is the only character who puts stock into the tales of yore and all that jazz. His exuberant belief ends up making him appear the fool. Good thing he didn’t care. Otherwise, the adventure would have floundered.

It wouldn’t be a Pixar movie without your heartstrings being tugged at. They refrained this time round from pulling heartstrings entirely out of your chest and knotting them up. I appreciated that. As did our tissue supply.

Pixar really gives credence to my argument that there needs to be a tissue rating in conjunction with the traditional star rating. On a scale of one to five tissues, Up would be a ten while Onward here would be a two and a half to three. Yes, I got choked up over a van’s demise but didn’t spend the entire length of the credits sniffling.

Ian and Barley’s adventure was a delight to watch. Onward is a perfect blend of teenage angst, adventure, and comedy genres. This blend makes for the perfect escape from our new normal. I hate that term, but it’s all I have other than “supreme dumpster fire.”

Anyway, I would highly recommend checking out Onward if you have the means and opportunity. It’s a great way to step away for an hour and forty minutes. Well, two hours really with snack breaks and such. A bonus to the home release format.

Till next time Nerd Girls!