Lemon Blueberry Crush

We’re number one! We’re number one! Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there. I’m just over here in the corner cowering because LA County is now number one in the country for COVID cases, pretty cool, huh? All of CA now has a mandatory mask order, not that people in my McArthur neighborhood seem to care. Throngs of maskless people congregating around the numerous sidewalk vendors, that glorious tableau of potential disease. Of course, at least in LA, we aren’t out protesting for haircuts, like those fuckers down in Orange County. People here are still protesting (peacefully I might add) for BLM, but because rabble-rousers aren’t looting or burning police cars, the media apparently no longer cares.

Is this country still an odious dumpster fire? Of course, it is! Why just this morning we have Cheetolini tweeted and then deleted – hey that rhymes!- a tweet referencing good people in which a video clip old white people from a retirement community in Florida (big shocker there huh?) someone can be heard yelling “white power.” I mean sure, we could give him the benefit of the doubt (like his blind, deaf, and dumb administration) and say that something like a shiny Trump sign caught his eye. He’s such a raging narcissist that he has to post it, sure ok…

I was texting with Nerdy the other day, and she commented that it should be late November. At first, I thought she meant because it’s been cool out, but no, it’s because while it’s only the end of June, it feels like a decade has passed [insert “It’s been 84 years” Titanic GIF here – actually I sent that to her]. It’s nearly July 4th, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. Last year, LA had a major earthquake on the holiday that woke us up, followed by an even stronger one a day later. Additionally, being on the 5th floor of a building, I was able to see fireworks from LA, Long Beach, Torrance, and about four other cities from my window. It was an auditory and visual delight. I like fireworks. Ah, let me amend that: I like planned fireworks that I have purposefully shown up to see. I do not care for the local hand-fired pyrotechnics my neighbors insist on firing off from 4pm to approx 3 am. It’s not even dark out when they start! That’s just the waste of a good firework. But, I do have Friday the 3rd off from work.

I am looking forward to a day of returning cans and bottles covered safely with a mask, drinking beer, ordering deep dish pizza from a new place in Echo Park (home of the hipsters), and playing Zoom trivia with Nerdy and co.

Last week Los Angeles began Phase II of reopening bars, restaurants, etc. As of Sunday, 6/28, that order was rescinded. Bars/breweries etc. that don’t serve food with drinks must re-close—big giant shit show. We join states like Florida and Texas, who’ve realized they have made a huge mistake (insert Arrested Development Gob meme here) and are reversing their grand openings. I felt a great disturbance in the Force as if millions of (alcoholic) voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Yeah, I quoted Star Wars, suck it.

Thousands of SoCal folks who planned on boozing all during the holiday weekend will have to stay home or visit a select number of breweries that are still open. I don’t see the appeal of going to an open place where everyone can leave their masks and spread disease. I’ll be taking my growlers to go thank you very much. Support local business any way you can during this shit show of a pandemic. Get take out from a tasty local haunt, order beers to go from your preferred brewery, tip your delivery drivers well, protest peacefully. We are all in this together.

This week I’m trying a new beer flavor combination, from a brand new to me brewery: Temblor Brewing Company in Bakersfield, CA. Located about 115 miles up the 5N from Los Angles, smack in between Sequoia and Los Padres National Forests. I haven’t had the chance to visit any of these tiny inland towns yet, but I think I’d enjoy some rural, small-town charm. Of course, by rural, I mean anything, not DTLA. As I’m writing this there is a man outside yelling fuck you bitch, I hate you so…

Bakersfield hosts two colleges, several breweries, and an airport, so not exactly rural but better than here. Like most breweries here, Temblor was founded less than ten years ago in 2015 and quickly expanded into a 600-gallon brewing facility housing a restaurant, and a space for live music, comedy and lounging. Their website also advertises $2 beers anytime an earthquake can be felt, not gonna like this is pretty cool. A California establishment that actually leans into the impending doom of natural disaster is refreshing.

The new to me beer combination is lemon blueberry. I present Lemon Blueberry crush, like the soda brand. I love lemon, love love love it. I’m lukewarm on blueberry unless it’s in a beer. Wachusett Brewery’s blueberry ale is the best one I’ve had to date. Lemon blueberry is a pretty common flavor duo in a lot of baked goods, but this is my first time seeing them together in a beer. The can was what drew my attention, a sort of Warholesque pop art. And, I am a sucker for polka dots, as anyone who has been my closet can attest. Upon reading the can, I was sucked in with the promise the beer had been brewed with fresh lemon juice and blueberries. Ok, so good so far. Wait now…7% abv goodness me! It is nigh impossible to find a fruit ale with that high of an abv. Usually, the norm is around 4 – 5%. So I grabbed the four-pack and took it on my merry way.

This is a beautiful beer to pour, the head is snowy white and provides an audible fizzle. While the foam dissolved quickly, I was left with a white ring laced onto the side and continued my journey down the glass with me. The aroma for this beer was true to the name: got a whiff of creamy blueberry pastry, with an overall sourness, like a lemon glaze. The BF eats a lot of blueberry danishes. That sweet cream, blueberry, and buttery pastry scent is a familiar one to me.

As you can see from the picture, this is one gorgeous beer, just look at that opaque light scarlet-burgundy hue. You’ll also notice my religious candle of the week, St Jude patron saint of lost causes and desperate cases, my Catholic upbringing showing its face. This candle was not selected randomly for this week, I feel that where we are as a state and a country requires a saint of extreme measure. Also, it smells like a delightful sea breeze musk.

Now Crush may look opaque and thus thick, but the mouthfeel is actually on the lighter side. The viscosity gets a boost from the carbonation’s vibrancy, but the beer itself is quite smooth, quite smooth. Often with beers of 7% and higher, you notice a malty richness (one that I usually do not care for) but not with Crush. As I sipped, the first flavor note I picked up was lemon and a bit of tangerine. The lemon essence carried through the entire beer, but once the initial citrus ping hit, my taste buds continued my journey into sweet blueberry jam land. Palate wise, I didn’t taste any buttery malty biscuit. It was more like I was sucking out the filling from a lemon glazed, blueberry cream danish.

Lemon reference aside, this is not a sour. So if you are one of the many sour haters, do not dismiss this beer. The lemon is closer to the delicious glazed lemon loaf I made this week than a warhead. I did detect just the faintest note of astringency as I swallowed, but I do not believe this is lemon related. Just the faintest amount of hops to counteract the bluest of berries. And let me tell you, after one, you will be feeling this bitch. A malty 7% this does not taste like.

So everyone, please, for the love of goodness, be safe this holiday – America’s birthday. That’s only because 7/4 was the day the Second Continental Congress officially adopted the Declaration of Independence. The actual document wasn’t wholly signed by the delegates until August/September. Don’t go out without a mask, practice social distancing, and stay away from mass fireworks gatherings. LA has canceled all their fireworks celebrations, so I anticipate extra fireworks set off by locals next to my apartment all weekend.

4 out of 5 blueberry orchards