It’s the Fest of Times, It’s the Election of Times

Here we are, folks, election 2020. Jesus H Christ. This is like the extended edition season finale of 2020. The boyfriend and I voted early, on the last day possible, and registered the same day. I’d like to give a big shout out to the State of California for receiving but never processing our voter registrations. So while we were able to vote, it’s a provisional ballot. We stood in no lines, there were only a few other peeps voting, and the poll workers looked bored. 

Usually, this is the space I would use to rant about whatever apocalyptic event has occurred in the last two weeks, but I can’t today. I’m just too darn exhausted. I also drank enough alcohol to kill an elephant this weekend, an Indian one, probably not an African elephant. I’m just so tired of the Republicans and their hypocritical bullshit. 

This weekend was Halloween, and while there were no parties to attend, we made the best of the day. I carved my annual pumpkin, watched spooky movies, made chips and queso, and drank copious amounts of beer. A fun self-imposed tradition of mine is to watch a horror movie each night in October, often culminating in Halloween on Halloween. Some of the quality flicks I reviewed over the last 31 days:

• Rocky Horror Picture Show – an absolute classic. If you ever get a chance to see the live show, I highly recommend it.
• Leprechauns 1 – 3, Warwick Davis at his finest.
• The Adams Family – because who doesn’t love a heartwarming story of family love.
• My Bloody Valentine – what I thought would be a cheesy 80’s flick, is definitely a top fave in my slasher category. Skip the 2009 remake, though.
• And, hangs head shamefully, Hubie Halloween. 

I’ve had a grudge against Netflix lately for the amount of Adam Sandler movies produced by the platform. I feel the man has not made a quality movie since Big Daddy. However, I have to admit, I enjoyed Hubie. The movie takes place in Salem, MA, on Halloween, with a possible murderer running around the town. 

When I lived in MA, I went to Salem almost every year for Haunted Happenings – the month-long celebration of Halloween. You tour the graveyard, visit the animatronic witch museum, check out the House of 7 Gables, and whatever else your heart desires. Obviously, as the originator of the American Witch Trials, Salem’s tourism is geared around that. But, they have a rich maritime history, so any excuse to chill by a lighthouse is alright by me.

So how did everyone spend election night? We went to the grocery store to buy booze and chips, and I had a big dinner planned. Of course, once I started cooking instantly lost my appetite from stress and anxiety. Things started out well for Biden, but the electoral creep began for Trump once the red state polls started closing. This was my first time experiencing an election on the West Coast. So at 8 PM pacific, when CA, WA, and OR closed their polls, many of my East coast friends were getting ready for a disappointing bedtime. I finally called it a night around 2 AM PST, pretty sure shit was going to hit the fan. Very negative mood all night.

Now it’s Wednesday. Based on the amounts of mail-in votes this year, particularly in battlegrounds states like PA and WI, it was assumed we wouldn’t have definitive results for a day/days after. Of course, that didn’t stop Trumples from essentially announcing he won. The best we could hope for was that Biden did the opposite of Al Gore in 2000, and not fucking conceded. I have no hope for PA. As a former resident, I can say that Penn will always do the wrong thing when it counts. So keep on drinking chickens. Just make sure you eat something.

Since it’s autumn (although Southern California hasn’t gotten that memo), I thought it was time for a nice fall beer. This week’s offering is “It was the Fest of Times,” a festbier from Bottle Logic Brewing. Now a festbier, while traditionally brewed in Munich and served at Oktoberfest, is not an Okt beer. They are very similar, though, and both delicious styles, in my opinion.  

Bottle Logic is located in a podunk little city of Anaheim, not much going on there. Obviously, I jest, anyone in the know is aware Anaheim is home to Disney Land – the superior of the two Disney parks. I haven’t had the pleasure of visiting Bottle Logic, but based on the artwork on their website, I would very much like a trip down sometime. Any place that uses science cartoons for advertising beer is alright by me. I couldn’t find much information on the company’s history, but the lengthy tap list posted on their website is all I need to know.

Like some of the other beers I’ve reviewed, I will admit to buying Fest because of the can’s artwork. A sort of sexy Viking goblin in what I think is lederhosen holds up a stein of beer to the sky in a jaunty celebratory manner. So, of course, I drank this out of my beer stein. The beer poured in a bubbly way into the glass, and as you can see, the bubbles stayed in the glass for a speckled appearance. 

I was pleased with the two fingers of creamy ivory foam that floated on top of my drink. Unfortunately, the head faded fast and left no visible lacing in the glass. Head or no head, this is a pretty beer. Gaze at that sparkling, golden-amber hue. There is something so inviting about amber beer. It’s like the drink is just telling you to go ahead and get your autumn on, girl!

As I performed my usual pretentious hand wafting motion, I was struck by the complexity of the nose on Fest. A sweet malty aroma hits you first. I was able to pick out vanilla toffee, brown sugar caramel, and dry honey. The second wave of distinct floral notes pops up next. I was able to discern honeysuckle and field clover. Not a bad combination of smells, in my opinion. So, while the aromas of the beer were rich and varied, the mouthfeel was not. 

Fests, Okts, and red ales can be thick, thin, and everything in between. I don’t mind a lighter mouthfeel on a fest or Okt. It can be overwhelming to drink a thick and highly flavorful beer. Worry not though, the bountiful carbonation bubbles provided a bit of texture and tickle to the tongue. 

Ah, but how does it taste? 

I have to say that Fest is definitely a mishmash of flavors, but it’s a mishmash that works. Lightly toasted wheat and sweet corn came through first, almost like slightly sweet cornbread. Further sips and slurpings gave hints of crisp toasted biscuit with dry honey butter. I had a more challenging time discerning any hop bitterness. I believe I caught a hint of pithy floral bitters at the very end. Overall this is a very drinkable beer, especially at 6.5%. You can easily down a few without breaking a sweat. My one critique is that Fest is a bit too sweet. I wouldn’t mind a greater amount of bitterness to really balance everything out.

4 out of 6 anxiety-ridden election nights.