Golden Road’s Pineapple Cart

Howdy, ya’ll! How’s life in the funhouse? My last article was brought to you by the letter “A” for anxiety. This week is brought to you by “B” for bafflement. So old sleepy Joe pulled it off, thank fucking god. I had basically no appetite for all of Election Week because I was completely convinced that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was going to drop the ball like they did in 2016. Waking up that Saturday morning after the election to see sweet, sweet victory confirmed was glorious. Now you’re probably wondering, why bafflement?

Since the election, certain pockets of the right leaning political spectrum have refused to admit that their good old boy Trumples bit the big one. Cries of election fraud, cheating, lawsuits fill every off brand new site’s Facebook commentary section. If you are feeling down, just scroll down through the comments on right-leaning websites. It will perk you back up, I promise.

Of course, it doesn’t help that Donny Two Scoops himself has continuously tweeted that he won since election night. As of Monday 11/16, though, SCOTUS announced that they declined to take on the PA Absentee Ballot case, which is basically the final nail in the coffin.
The man has still not conceded, not that he needs to, but it’s a nice gesture. Regardless, on Wednesday, January 20th, 2021, he is no longer POTUS, despite what his sycophantic allies say.

Now, this is all well and good, right? Sure, until his cronies try and commit a coup or rally up their base to get violent. I will pay good money to see old Dump dragged out of the White House by Biden’s secret service detail. I’ll be wishing for that come Christmas.

This is good news, but the ever-present COVID still hangs over America like the fucking sun does in LA. It just won’t go away! Some states are announcing second lockdowns, but I’m not sure SoCal’s first one ever ended. I had a feeling the virus was going to be around come Autumn, so a few months ago, I began buying a few Thanksgiving items here and there. I didn’t want to get caught unawares, waiting in an hour plus line to fight over someone for potatoes like in March. At this point, I just need a few specialty items, which a weekday trip to Trader Joe’s sometime this week will satisfy.

I’m excited for Thanksgiving, even if it is just the boyfriend and me. It is my favorite holiday, with Halloween a close second. I love the food specifically. Turkey is well and good, but green bean casserole and sausage stuffing are things that make life worth living.

If I was back East with the fam, I would be gracing them with my always requested jalapeno poppers and pecan pie. Because it’s just me and the boy, and I have to cut out a few dishes here and there, we started having the poppers, and my tasty cheesy baked corn dip, the night before as a treat.

My mom and I started having Appetizer Christmas Eve a few years ago. It’s a fun way to enjoy the holidays, with a lot less cooking stress – at least until the next day when you arrive at your relatives. However, with COVID this year, many folks find themselves scaling down the guest lists. With the recent election and my mainly conservative family, this is a good thing.

And what is Thanksgiving without the booze? For this week’s offering, I chose a fun, fruity, and refreshing beer – the exact opposite of 2020: Golden Road’s Pineapple Cart. While GR beers are ubiquitous to Los Angeles, the brewery has only been around since 2011. Boasting five pub locations and distribution across the SW US (even Massachusetts apparently) GR hit the ground running.

The founders unabashedly made the decision to sell to Anheuser-Busch in 2015. They wanted their money, and I’m not here to judge. They make good beer. I’ve been to the OG pub up near Glendale. It’s pretty close to Griffith Park, so quite a pretty drive if you run around the park. My favorite feature was the bar stools. I appreciate a padded stool with both back and arm support. Just makes ya wanna camp down for a while. Their tap list was quite extensive too, you could run through 2 or more samplers without a duplicate. I keep praying they can their sour guava, which has been brewery only up to this point.

Now for this week, as previously mentioned, is Pineapple Cart. Why the cart, you ask? Pineapple Cart, along with their other cart series beers – melon, mango, and habanero mango, is named for the omnipresent fruit carts all over Los Angeles. You can get any number of fresh tropical fruits cut up and served to you in a giant cup with a tajin sprinkle if desired. We usually buy the 15 pack of the mango, melon, and pineapple cart to find them. My boyfriend is partial to the mango, and the habanero mango, while I prefer the pineapple and melon. Lucky for you all, because next week’s article will be on the melon.

The can is a pleasing spring green pictured with the aforementioned fruit cart. Featured this week is my newly acquired skeleton friend. He was sent to me as a Halloween gift, but we’ve kept him displayed since. So note the color of the beer, very cloudy, a bit dull yellow. Don’t let visuals fool you, though. To me, beer is less about the appearance and mostly about the aroma and taste. I poured out quite an ample head that fizzled and popped with an exuberance I could hear across my kitchen.

PC smells excellent, no bones about it. I picked up notes of pineapple (well obviously), strawberry, assorted stone fruits, and the faintest hint of vanilla cream. Imagine a creamy vanilla ice cream topped with perfectly ripe fruit salad. After sniffing so much that I may have blown out my olfactory senses, I finally took a sip.

PC is highly carbonated, but the actual mouthfeel is on the thinner side. I do like it when beers with a thinner profile are very bubbly. It balances out nicely. There is a reason why super heavy stouts and porters are closer to flat. It would be weird otherwise.

Now I have to say, this beer is extraordinarily quaffable. My first sip coated my tongue in notes of pineapple and wheat, like a pineapple curd spread on a soft croissant. Hints of that pineapple tang popped in my mouth without cloying sweetness. Second and third sips produced waves of orange and strawberry, with a touch of assorted stone fruit.

This beer advertises its tastes, and it surely delivers. The fruit profile is complex, and everything meshes well together. The fruit flavors are intense and recognizable, but not fake or too sweet. No surprise, there was pretty much no bitterness detected. Beers of the wheat and fruit nature generally tend to be low on the IBU (International Bitterness Unit) scale. So this is a tasty beer if you like pineapple and stone fruit. If you dislike any of those fruit types, you will not like this. It’s 4%, so you can easily down several. Happy drinking!

4 out of 5 Turkeys