Garage Brewing Brings S’mores and Beer Together

[Insert inspirational quote here] yes, dear readers, those brackets are intentional, I sure as shit couldn’t think of anything to include. Day 8000 of quarantine has me looking at my bottle of 2 Buck Chuck sauvignon blanc and wondering if 9:45 is too early to start quaffing. At this point I divide my day into daywear pajamas, and nighttime pajamas; and coffee time/booze time. This Sunday I went nuts and had my 12:01pm beer while I was still in my night time pajamas, ahh the things we do just to feel alive. In all seriousness, though, I’m doing alright, standing drunk on a fire escape does wonders for one’s mental health. And I’m fortunate to have my boyfriend here for company, and even more fortunate to have zero children here. The boyfriend has finished his playthrough of Final Fantasy VII remake, which means my television is mine again. Some 10am John Oliver really kicks the day off right.

We went grocery shopping last night for the first time in six weeks. Last time we went to the store on March 15th, we waited for an hour in a line that snaked all around the building. This time we waited in a very short line and found a very well-stocked store. Way less Soviet food rationesque than before. Humblebrag, I am a maverick at stretching out groceries. Buying lasagna ingredients and making a few for the freezer, or a bulk pack of chicken thighs to be crock potted for multiple meals, really helps to stretch out the budget. Thanks growing up in poverty! [Insert thumbs up emoji here.] Of course, it helps that I enjoy planning out my meals and cooking. Plus, being at home during the week gives me the time to prepare more home-cooked, elaborate dinners than one can put together when one doesn’t arrive home until 7pm. I am not missing my 2 hours spent commuting let me tell you that. It’s also incredibly cool and comforting to see nine different packages of cheese. I have never had more cheese in my fridge than I do now.

I did venture out one other time, to pick up my contactless online order of discounted crowlers at Boomtown brewery. I had the grand plan of reviewing a few of the tastiest selections. [Narrator: She did not] What happened? The boyfriend and I drank them in succession on a Sunday. In all fairness to us, a crowler only produces 2 pints, so four crowlers is only four pints a person, child’s play for your average craft beer imbiber. Fortunately, I located one can hiding behind an old jar of salsa in the back of my refrigerator. While not expired, this beer was definitely purchased way before COVID-19 was rampant in the US. I give you: Marshmallow Milk Stout from Garage Brewing Co. GO is down in Temecula CA, about 90 mins south of Los Angeles. I can’t wait to drive down the coast and hit up all those tasty breweries like Belching Beaver, Pizza Port, Stone, and now Garage.

True to its namesake, Garage Brewery Co started, you guessed it, in a garage back in 2013. SoCal doesn’t seem to have a lot of old breweries, by old I mean founded before 2005. And, they have custom made pizzas, as is the way of the brewhouses lately. Their beer lists looks fucking amazing IMO. Multiple flavors of milk stout, hatch chili IPA, various fruity beers, and a maple bacon breakfast imperial for the busy beer drinker on the go, beer, and breakfast!

Alright, time to rip off the bandaid. When I snapped a photo, the light in my teeny tiny apartment wasn’t at peak, so the picture may not do justice to just how fetching this stout is. This is a dark brown beer, nary a photon of light is getting through this bad baby. The thick two fingers of head glistened with a mocha hue. The foamy head frothed and sizzled away quickly, but it was pretty warm in my house, it did leave some beautiful lacing around the glass though. I’m sure you noticed luminous Angel De La Guardia, no, no, I haven’t rediscovered my Catholic roots. The Mexican grocery stores in my neighborhood sell these fantastic candles for a dollar, and they burn for hours. Yankee Candle has some serious budget competition. Angel here smells like vanilla cream, and marshmallow, much like our beer here. Hey, a segue! See what I did there! Seriously though, the aromas bursting out of this beer were pure deliciousness. In no particular order: mocha, coffee, burnt sugar, vanilla, marshmallow, raisin, caramel, and pretzel. Fuck ya.

What about the body, you ask? Hell of a body. And not the eyes up and down a voluptuous woman’s figure body. The viscosity and mouthfeel duh. I would rate this stout halfway between medium and thick, due to the slight boost the medium gets from the carb bubbles. The carbonation wasn’t visible in the glass, but I could feel the popping on my tongue. Goddamn this beer is smooth. It’s like velvet leopard print sheets on a male prostitute’s bed level of smoothness.

Ahh, but how about the taste? I can say definitively, this beer tastes as good as it smells, or smells as good as it tastes. Right off the bat, I tasted sweet espresso with a wallop of vanilla and marshmallow. But not just a regular old Stay Puft, we’re talking that Lucky Charms caramelized vanilla goodness. The sugary lacing was followed by rich mocha notes. Absolutely decadent combination. You can thank the chocolate and black malts for that bittersweet chocolate flavor. The malts also impart a biscuity graham flavor. Do I need to spell it out? Oh yes, you are basically drinking a liquid s’ more, one with a huge gooey melty marshmallowy insides. The thing is, I’ve had s’ more flavored stouts, and they are nowhere as good as Garage’s offering. Usually, breweries try and overdo the graham flavor at the expense of the chocolate, and you end up with a slightly sweetened toasted biscuit. Not this one! I was able to pick out the graham notes from the chocolate malt, and they just brought the whole thing together.

In other news, LA had another earthquake last night. The boyfriend informed me I freaked out in my sleep. But dude, the bed fucking shakes. Earthquakes are like nothing else until you experienced it. Anyway, this beer is amazing. Go pick some up.

5/5 delightfully toasted s’ mores.