Fear and Loathing in Orlando: Otherwise Known As the Make Women Great Again Conference

There was a lot of sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose in preparation for me sitting down with this subject. I must apologize for deviating from my usual Wednesday fare. I was working on a piece about The Mandalorian, but this came to my attention, causing a quick reschedule. Sorry Mando Fans, I’ll get there.

What am I going to talk about? The 22 Convention: Make Women Great Again.

I came across this turd, I mean, tidbit thanks to the Nerd Girls Unite community on Facebook. When I saw it, I had hoped this was going to be some bit of satire — tongue in cheek The Onion style. Alas, this was not to be. This convention is a real thing. While the memes and gifs that ensued on Nerd Girl Unite’s share were hilarious and comforting, they did nothing to stop my skin from crawling and the rage from boiling. Part of me is screaming not to put it out on the Interwebs, to keep it as an analog journal entry. That way, they don’t get any more publicity. But if they’ve already gotten a word count in the New York Post, The Atlantic, and a bevy of other outlets, my abstinence isn’t going to do anything.

This event includes only male speakers who are attending to educate women on how to be better women. Yes, ladies, you can treat yourself to the conference “destined to be the mansplaining event of the year.”

Pause to hold the bridge of my nose.

Dear sirs, I would like to familiarize you with the adage, “They won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.” Not sure what that has to do with anything? Here, let me expound. Mansplaining is everywhere. On the subway, the bus, work, radio, TV, the freezer section of the grocery store (Yes, an elderly man felt the need to lecture me about buying frozen food and home cooking. When in reality, I had picked up a bag of frozen blueberries for a pie because it was February in New England, and fresh blueberries are a little hard to come by.) Why on earth would we spend two thousand dollars to be subjected to mansplaining when we could walk out our doors and get it free of charge?

I would love to say that there will be no women attending this three-day travesty. But, I imagine they will manage to coral enough women looking for self-improvement. How do I know that? They offer a men-only conference. One that has not only run multiple years but is also going international.

I’ll give them credit. They are equal opportunity shysters.

The platform plugged is that women have been prevented from reaching their full and natural potential because of (here’s where their originality really shines) feminism. Only with male guidance can women start to reclaim their womanhood to become the ideal woman.

Holding bridge of nose again.

I made the mistake of trying to delve into what exactly the perfect woman is by looking up some of the speakers. One of them has a blog. The latest post gave me enough of an idea of what an ideal woman is that I nearly threw up. My research did nothing other than exercise my gag reflex. I know what their ideal is. We all do. What they are plugging is the same ideal we’ve heard since birth. That delicate, slender princess who loves to cook, clean, and be a mother.

That woman does exist. I’ve seen her. Want to know where? On vintage Campbell’s soup cans and Simplicity patterns. She is a figment in our collective minds.

I’m not sorry when I say screw “Make Women Great Again.” We’ve always been great. The fact we don’t live up to those Norman Rockwell sketches doesn’t change that. We’re human. What it does mean is that these men have been let down and are either unwilling or incapable of adjusting their expectations. That is the crux of this absurd display, and yet, they expect women to shell out two grand to be told women are the problem. I circle back to that adage from earlier. We get that everywhere we go. And we don’t have to spend a dime.

I’d love to sit here and say I feel sorry for them. That to be so ruled by your own inadequacies and failings, you feel the need to project those same feelings on to others. And I pity you. But I do not have any pity to spare because it is in no one’s best interest. By making men who believe the ideas promoted by The Manosphere and other like organizations objects of pity, the danger they present is minimized. That would be an absolute mistake.

I don’t have numbers or stats, but these men are not a majority. They do not represent what most men think and believe. These men are afraid of losing something. Position? Influence? The ability to behave badly? Maybe they don’t like sharing. Whatever it is, like any animal who feels cornered, they lash out at their projected attacker.

Cornered or not, that doesn’t mean this sect of masculinity doesn’t have power. Look at what happened to Hallmark. They bowed to pressure put on them by OneMillionMoms. Don’t let the name fool you. They do not have a million followers. But they managed to heel a corporation that has been in business since 1910.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to fit into the box they are selling for women. I don’t. I like dresses, heels, and purses, but I’m not anywhere near that feminine ideal. I don’t need a rescue if I get a flat tire. I’d wager I’ve helped lift more car engines than most on that Manosphere panel. I struggle with my weight and will always be someone who wears double digits. Not always because of my weight either, mostly because I happen to have hips. That said, I am still working myself out of the mindfuck chasing that ideal causes. I’ll be working on that for a very long time.

These ideas should have no place in 2020. You’d think we would have evolved socially beyond this. Forget where are the flying cars, although I wouldn’t mind one, where is the social Utopia? I know the answer to that. It’s a long time coming. Especially when one of the most powerful positions in the world is currently held by someone who encourages this type of flagrant misogyny.

Pinches the bridge of my nose again while sighing.

This shouldn’t be a thing. Their MWGA hats might be laughable. But what that hat stands for isn’t. As much as you want to look away from stuff like this, don’t. To ignore them hands them a lot of power.