Cheers to Christmas Beers

It’s almost Christmas! It’s almost Christmas! Should I repeat it for the folks in the back? I love Christmas! I love the snow, the sweaters, the excuse to get fat and eat my (increasing weight) in casseroles. Unfortunately, I now live in Southern California, and the only white Christmas I’m getting is while I listen to the eponymous song. I really do feel bad for Angelinos, all these Christmas songs about warm fires, cocoa, and sleigh rides, and these poor fuckers are left out in the (figurative) cold. It’s not all bad though, it’s been in the 50s, and the mornings have a crispness reminiscent of New England October, I’ll take it. My apartment has been adorned with multi-colored string lights, and my bottle tree has been decked out in ornaments galore. I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building with a minute elevator that shakes at the 3rd floor and is often broken, a real tree must wait until better accommodations are produced.

Because this edition of Thirsty Thursday will be premiering around Christmas, I thought it was only appropriate to review a holiday beer. Like Oktoberfest and pumpkin beers though, Christmas ales have a low prevalence around here. So, you can imagine how excited I was to find a six-pack of Anchor Brewing Christmas Ale at the gas station across from my work. I want to thank the kind cashier who only smiled when I purchased the beer, a Slim Jim, and a (literal) child size diet soda from the fountain at 10:30am.

I was excited to find this beer because of the aforementioned lack of Christmas ales, and because the OG Anchor Steam Ale was quite the delight. Looks the bottle, take comfort in the lovely rustic parchment look of the bottle’s label. To the naked eye, it appears quite the stylish vintage aesthetic. This beer is dark in color, reminded me of a dark IPA, but low viscosity. And that, my friends, is all the nice things I have to say about this beer. Good lord, was it fucking atrocious! This beer has the distinction of being the only six-pack that both the boyfriend and I couldn’t finish, AND I had to give the bottles away to get them out of my fridge. The best way to describe the taste was piney, stagnant dishwater with a hint of smoke. So there goes the glorious review I was going to present for the holiday season. Instead, I thought it would be nice to look back fondly at some of my favorite holiday beers I’ve imbibed over the years.

Harpoon Chocolate Stout. I’m feeling especially nostalgic for this beer because, as far as I can tell, I cannot purchase it out here. I was pleasantly surprised to learn Harpoon does distribute in Socal, but only the mains like their IPA. Like many of us as we age, our palates prefer less sweet boozy drinks. This stout is excellent for someone who wants the fruity bitterness of chocolate, without the cloying sweetness in their beer. I remember this beer always came in Harpoon’s winter variety pack, clad in a festive scarlet wrapper. It pours dark and rich, and tastes like liquid baking chocolate. Perfect for curling up with a book, preferably snuggled under your favorite fleece blanket.

Winter Warmer. Several breweries have their own version of this beer. Harpoon’s is tasty, Sam Adam’s Old Fezziwig Ale is a real treat, but I was particularly partial to the inhouse brew at Owen O’Learys. WW is everything that I like in a beer. As you readers may have gleaned, I like a well-balanced beer – not too sweet or bitter. WW have a delicious toffee malty back round, complemented by aromatic autumnal spices, and is akin to a gingerbread latte in a glass. Looking for a little sweetness to complement the cinnamon? Mix half warmer with half-hard apple cider and get a warm apple pie. The spices in the WW complement the acidity and sweetness of the apple. On another note, hard cider is not easy to find in SoCal. I was so spoiled in the Northeast with all the cideries. Ok, mini-rant over.

21st Amendment Fireside Chat. This beer is fucking delicious. I love spices, and I love toasty, malty British bitters, and this beer combines them in a rich, tasty, sippable treat. At 7.9%, a six-pack will do ya just fine. My apartment does technically have a fireplace, it’s not functional and is filled in, but one can still pretend. Although after a few of these, I highly doubt you will be feeling any cold. Named for the radio addresses given to the nation by the 2nd best Roosevelt, I feel like FDR would have enjoyed a brew or two in his day (in between all his sexual escapades).

So that’s about kids. Have a very merry, delicious, boozy Christmas!